the up and up...

i just cut and colored my hair myself again- and i must say, i've done a fine job!  [[and i'm modest too..hah]]  i need to go to a salon or barber and have them clean up the baby hairs since i cut it so short in the back.. right now i'm looking a bit like wolf-girl....
  

think: louise brooks

i got the court advocacy position!! so soon i'll be supporting myself in a comfortable fashion, doing something i am truly passionate about!!  first thing ima do is make a down payment on a dependable car! think: ford fiesta in white..

i was up for a new phone in my plan, so that'll be here in a few days.. i'll be most glad to have a keyboard to type upon again... 

this weekend is HIGHLAND WEEKEND at the renaissance festival here in oh-hee-oh! i'm attending with a large group of friends!  [[fb: HAIRY MAN LEGS+KILTS=TREMBLING WITH RIOTOUS DESIRES]]

hmm... last thursday i believe i had my first adult date.  i won't name the exceedingly handsome and charming boy, and i won't go into personal detail, for this is the Interwebs.  all i will say is that it was delightfully refreshing to have intelligent conversation, to be shown the gems in my new neighborhood under the moon, and to be walked to my door for a hug goodnight!!  [[ i Really hope he doesn't read this here blog, or i shall blush! i know, the unthinkable with what i usually discuss in person sans blush!]]

i hope i get to sewing again soon... now that the weather has turned cooler i am expecting to be much more energetic in the evenings- keeping warm and all that, bah hah!  i at least need to finish the pieces i started... i have so many sketches of skirts, blouses, purses, shoes, and other nifty sundries with which to accessorize.  i'll get to them...I Shall!

i am tired, tired..  i have to work at 8am tomorrow morning. bah! fie!  that is the only thing i would change about my job..the saturday shift.  but that just so happens to be when the shelter really needs me. meh.  hmm... 

also making me tired:  i Don't Understand the modern dating scene.  i'm not the kind of girl to date a few boys at a time casually, then from this soul-whorishness ascertain which i like most.  the world Will Not persuade me this is okay.  i am, however, all about taking dating slowly, and getting to know someone.  i will never rush into another relationship again. only bad things come from that course of action.. like realizing that you Never Really Knew a person months in...hah.   i am glad i learned my lesson at 25, instead of 35. 

i think i'll take my knitting to work tomorrow, catch up on my proyekks [[projects]]..  i hope i get some motivation to finish my sewing...

im going to go curl up into a little ball of light..farewell.

why must i always be the id in the psychomachia?  hah.  what brought on that bit is a photograph of my friend isaac, his friend megan, and i from friday evening.  its perfect. i'm on his left shoulder with a downright demonic and shifty expression on my face, and his friend is on his right with an angelic smile. to make it Even More Hilarious and awesome is that i have dark hair and she has light. also, i am clearly evil. Broohahahaha hah!   amazing picture..  more philosophizing on this very topic when i'm not so tired. [[don't believe a word i say]]

grammer's was fun friday, but was waaaay too packed and crazy.  good thing there are such things as jack and cokes as social lubricant.  

i had a lot of funtimes hanging out with sir isaac and his lady friends!  they are wonderful!!!

i had a wonderful night! i got to talk on the phone with my good friend logan, who let me rant about work and a number of things, really, hah. i can tell him anything, its a rare thing. aside from the ranting, we also had a good conversation.

speaking of good conversaton i had one the other evening with my friend brian! it inspired me to post this as my fb status, "i love having organic, tangential conversations. they are the stuffs of life." we ran the gamut and then bounded off into other topics... amazing.

then i showered in the pepperminty bliss that is my shower and headed over to molly's studio with two of my Great Find thrifted wine glasses and a bottle of some strange booze a friend left in my fridge in my OLD apartment back in, i believe, february, and never came to retrieve it despite my promises to drink it, hah. molly's studio was magical! there was plenty of night air, and plenty of molly's work! which excites me very much!! molly's work is innocence, whimsy, comfortable loneliness only introspective sheltered girl-women can feel while looking out of bedroom windows, warmth, and is also very seductive in a way that is indescribable!! but i'll try.. there is seduction in the textures of her found-object sculpture [art peoples, is this right?], the dissaray of certain pieces and also in the sighs of the aforementioned girl-woman that are redolent in the air surrounding the sculpture, drawings, and photographs..

molly showed me her collection of books too! AH! so amazing!!!!! i adore seeing peoples' books!! i adore books...but something about seeing someone's personal collection is very intimate and magical. all of my books are in michigan at my parent's home, since i spent the past seven years bouncing from dorm to apartment to dorm to duplex to dorm at new college to apartment... when i visit around the holidays i'll need to begin bringing them back a few at a time, since i am quite happy at my new abode and sense some permanence in its walls..

we drank the mystery booze that turned out to be ale with a 9.5% alcohol content! or you can just take my highly intellectualized version of the facts, "it tastes like a beer-wine..bleghhh. but..with a good aftertaste." and were quite sauced after only a couple of glasses. lindsey came to visit molly's studio too and we conversated for a little while. i wont mention the rest of the night in more than this next run-on sentence... we attended freddie mercury's birthday party which was not a Bash atall.. we gazed up at stars i don't remember if we saw.. we had amazing North Slice pizza, which we paid for in laundry money and scattered dollars.. and adorned ourselves with leaves on northside tavern's patio....

and when i got home i got to converse with logan again, which was the perfect way to end the night..

i was longing for a night of good conversation, and good company, and last night i had it!! my friend molly invited me to her friend's party in clifton [i think..hah] and it was wonderful! i also got to try Joose for the first time, i'd heard of this eighth wonder of the world.. i had the kind with magenta-y purple letters. it was good. my friend lindsey and i split one. which was a very good idea, since half of it was enough. hah. they're only three-ish dollars a can, so, that's a steal to get nice and sauced of an evening.

i really enjoy outings at people's homes, where things are cozy and intimate instead of uninviting and crass. i met molly's friend jon from Tejas who is a real swell fellow, a young lady named emily who was delightful, the owner of the home andrew who was very patient with the sometimes loud conversational revelry.. and other wonderful people including a teacher like myself! it was great to be able to converse about education with someone just as passionate about it as i am. i wish i could remember that madam's name.. damn Joose!

after the party molly, jon, and i went to steak n' shake. i had delicious chili and Nommed on some of molly's chili cheese fries. Mmm.. then molly drove me home and i had my first two visitors to my new place!!! im still hardly unpacked, but at least i had swept earlier in the day, hah. i turned off the lights and showed them my magic wall [see past posts] of shadows!! created by streetlamp light filtering through the tree leaves outside my living room window. i hope to have another such evening soon!



one of my bosses called me today and asked if i would be interested in working with our court advocacy program in our organization a few days a week!! i said of course. i have a pseudo interview tomorrow morning with the head of the program. i'm nervous and excited. the only downside to it is that it will be an hour commute in the morning and my car is driving toward the light...



i also heard back about my second interview for the mentor job i want!! they said it was taking so long to hear back [only a day really, but..hah, im inpatient about things i really care about] because they are having scheduling mix-ups. so, there's still a definite possibility that i'll be called in for a second interview!!!! i've got my fingers crossed!

for dinner tonight i baked up egg, summer squash, leftover baked potato, garlic, and butter in a little oven safe dish! twas delicious! i'm very sleepy now, despite having slept in until twelve thirty.. hah. i have to make myself stay up until at least nine. soo...sleepy....

i'm very tired. less weary than i'd thought i would be after working 4-midnight last night, then coming in to the shelter at 8am. the half hour of driving each way cut into my sleep too. eh. right now im running on donuts and willpower. hah. i covered for a coworker last night, and today im working the holiday because everyone else is at home for the day. since i use a lot of my income to procure fabric and other sewing odds and ends like buttons..instead of for food... i need the money. also, this is a Shelter. that means 24/7. so, i try to cover for my coworkers when i can, because more than likely, they havent had a day off in a loooong time. also helping me stay awake is that i simply love my job. i may be sluggish in the morning, but thats not reluctance, thats just plain tiredness. every day i work here, i have an experience that lets me know im in the right place. its a wondrous feeling to just Be There for women and children who need an empathetic ear (NOT sympathetic, pity is NOT what anyone Ever needs), or just someone to assure them they Are Safe in shelter. when a resident is so stressed/frightened/traumatized that they can't sleep or just wait for the days hours to pass peacefully, i remind them that the entire organization i work for is behind them, and we are All doing Everything in our power to Help. seeing women visibly relax even for a little while is worth every night i miss some shindig or other, and worth every hour of lost sleep.

my phone interview went well the other day! its been a week since i was interviewed, and the person who interviewed me said i would know by the sixth or seventh if i was being called back for a second interview. i Really hope i get called in for a second interview!! working for Friends of the Children is my dream career. the elements necessary to really reach children and nurture their minds and to help them become vital members of our local and global communities are found in that organization. our public education system shortchanges nearly every child, whether gifted, in the middle or otherwise. i won't get into a debate with you if you feel otherwise, sorry, if people want to ignore the truth and discrepancies inherent in our educational system, fine. but don't expect me to deign to "get into it" with you. there's not enough time in my lifetime to deal with That. the fact of the matter is, that our country spends its monopoly money too much on other things and not enough on our education. a lot of society's evils would be lessened, or very nearly eradicated if we just nurtured our children's minds, bodies, and souls from the very beginnings of their lives.

ive gotten some renfest plans in motion for this fall! i try to never miss the festival, its one of the highlights of the season, and the entire year for me, hah. i know its wildly historically innacurate, but i love it anyway. ohhh the turkey legs, MEAD, hand tooled leather, axe-throwing [which i fail horribly at every year] , booths of hippie oils and capes and AND.. im hoping to attend the celtic festival as well this year. celtic culture has always intrigued me. i wish i was irish or scottish or welsh..le sigh. german and spanish ancestry is okeedoo i guess..hah. i also want to go Apple Picking!! i haven't done that since i was little!!! well, little-er, hah. ahhhh!! so much Autumn to adore!!!!!

i need to get back onto my sewing projects! i want to have all of my pieces done by the last week of september, so theyre right in time for fall!! i need to learn how to use the sewing machine my stepmom is letting me borrow. i have tuesday, wednesday, and thursday off so i'm going to take time to unpack, and then go to ikea and goodwill to try and find a drafting table/desk/kitchen table and chair to do my projects on [and mayhaps even another chair for a guest or two..hah]. its something i really need for my crafting/creating

i'm not lonely, but something in the air is pulling at my insides. telling me that i should feel more alone than i do, to go out and greet the world. i guess im too picky now, about where and what i do to socialize. and when i say picky, i mean that things that used to be a good time aren't anymore. which is better in many ways, but not in some. at least my reclusiveness is more of a choice now, and not mainly a factor of distance. hmmm... i told some people that i would go to fountain square tonight, but i don't think i can stomach it. its loud, and crass. and just not Intimate enough. im not the type of person to long for the Old Days. but i want my present to have certain aspects of those aforementioned days.. which every now and again, a night will present itself in the mold of a perfect evening. and when i say perfect, i mean imperfectly perfect. a group of like-minded individuals, a warm room with delicious aromas-baking things, incense perhaps (im a hippie gypsy bohemian introvert whirl of DNA). kinship abounding- redolent in the molecules of said room, obvious in the conversation- a murmuring a flow, inherent in the kind eyes and ears.. i know thats to be had in cincinnati and in my present, and i also know i have to go out to experience It. maybe i'll be ready tomorrow?

so weary... tomorrow i'll finally be done cleaning out my old apartment. for the past two days i've been hauling ex-boyfriend's things (don't look at me like that, i warned them MONTHS ago to come get their shit) (also, im referring to just two boys over a 5 and a 1/2 year span, not a horde, hah..), expired boxed goods, and random detritus out to the dumpster. and the weather has been oh so very helpful by being in the NINETIES. well, just one more day

Those old, silver scrollwork radiators im all excited about!

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My Living Room: A Study in Two Angles (i just thought that sounded good)

what's gotten me through the past two days is my new place. its perfect. right now i'm sitting up in bed with a fan blowing on me- no AC, which i like. the fan Almost isn't necessary because of the wonderful breezes that promise me summer is almost at an end, and autumn beckons!.. i wonder if i'll have enough energy to go out tomorrow night after working from 8am to noon, then cleaning till probably 3 or 4. hmmm.. now that i live so close to everything there'll be time for a long nap and a shower before nighttime festivities commence. :]

kitteh

the morning light in my new domicile is wondrous! currently its glinting quite blindingly off of my big toe's muddy brown polish. im pirating interwebs cause i am poh folks right now, when i can afford it i will gladly share my connection with a few other people, as long as they aren't slowing things down too much.. is this a case of live and let live? hah. i slept well last night, but i woke up several times, i don't remember exactly why, but im pretty sure it was all the new noises. even though it took sleep a long time to find me, and i woke around seven, i still feel Rested. which i am attributing to all the fresh air from several open windows and the peace of living somewhere that makes me happy. at night there are mysteriously alluring shadows of tree leaves that play on my living room wall.

i just felt the press of cold kitteh nose on the toes of my left foot. hee hee. chamomile is adjusting extremely well and is livelier than shes been in weeks. chat noir on the other hand has spent most of the morning hiding in a kitchen cupboard..